雅思写作题材解析及习作修改(九)
发布时间:2019年06月17日
作者:作者:Tangweisheng  

雅思写作题材解析及习作修改(九)

——文化类

 

文/唐老雅

 

一、雅思文化类题材考情分析

 

“文化类”题材在雅思考试中属于中危话题,平均每年出现3—5次。考点及分布如下:

 

1. 网络对传统文化的冲击,包括:(1)人们能从网上获取信息,因此是否不需要博物馆了?(2)是否可以通过书籍、电影和网络而不需旅游去了解其他文化?

 

2. 旅游和传统文化,包括:(1)很多当地人不喜欢当地的旅游景点和博物馆,为什么?可以采取哪些措施吸引他们?(2)旅行者如何学习其他文化和传统,为什么有些旅行者对这些文化和传统没有兴趣?

 

3. 对文化的不同看法,包括:(1)对某些文化重视老年人,某些文化重视年轻人的看法;(2)越来越多不同文化和民族的人共同生活的原因及其利弊;(3)传统文化是否有必要保存?

 

4. 对语言的看法:使用比较少的语言是否应该抛弃?

 

二、雅思文化类题材经典考题

 

1. The customs and traditional ways of behaviour are no longer relevant in the modern world. So they are not worth keeping any more. To what extent do you agree or disagree? (2016/09/10)

 

2. Multicultural societies, where people of different ethnic groups live together, can bring more benefits than drawbacks to a country. To what extent do you agree or disagree? (2016/04/02)

 

3. Differences between countries are becoming less evident recently. People can see the same films, brands, fashion, advertisements and TV channels. To what extent do disadvantages outweigh advantages? (2016/01/09)

 

4. Some people think that cultural traditions will be destroyed when they are used as money-making machines aimed at tourists, but other people believe that it is the only way to save such conditions in the world today. Discuss both sides and give your own opinions. (2015/12/19)

 

5. Many museums and historical sites are mainly visited by tourists, not local people. Why is this the case and what can be done to attract local people? (2015/02/07)

 

对于“文化类”话题,以下观点可以借鉴:(1)传统文化需要保存(preserve),因为传统文化中包含了一个民族的历史;(2)文化往往需要身临其境才能真正理解;(3)多元文化共存可以相互学习,消除偏见(remove prejudices),使世界更加和谐(more harmonious);(4)文化更多作用于一个人的精神世界,不能全部以实用性来衡量;(5)应该保护语言多样性,因为一种语言消失,意味着一种文化消失。

 

三、雅思文化类题材习作修改

 

题目

 

Some people believe governments should spend money in saving languages of few speakers from dying out completely. Others think this is a waste of financial resources. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

 

学生习作

 

During the long human history, more than 5,500 kinds of languages have been born. Of those some are extensively used, such as English, Chinese and Spanish. While some only have few speakers. Then a question rises that if government need spend money in protecting these minority languages from extinction. There are people who consider it necessary, while others think it is a waste of financial resources. In my opinion, government should definitely take measures to save languages.

 

Not only for communication, languages carries human culture as well. It is an important channel for discovering a nation’s history and promoting culture dissemination. Therefore, protecting languages is approximately equal to protecting culture heritage. If we indulge a language gradually fading away, a part of culture will lose its inheritance and scholars will also lose valuable research materials. It is enormous losses for all humanity. In addition to that, financial resources ought to be used for various aspects. In modern society, economic construction. However, it doesn’t mean that cultural development can be easily neglected. On the contrary, culture is what runs a long course from a remote source. Protecting languages also shows respect to those minorities friends. Everyone has responsibility to inherit human’s previous treasures as possible as we could.

 

Generally speaking, governments should indeed spend money in saving languages of few speakers from dying out. A language is such a gem that certainly needs preservation at any cost.

 

评分:5

 

老雅评改

 

据说,现在世界上每天都有数十种语言在消失,有人就说,政府应该想办法保护这些语言,虽然讲这种语言的人非常少,但其他人则说,保护这些语言没有用,完全是浪费人力和物力。好了,看来双方都有道理!保护这些语言,因为语言背后是文化,一旦语言消失,它背后的文化也就消失了,而这个世界需要多元文化;不保护这些语言,因为现在都是地球村了,大家说同样的语言更容易沟通,因此应该让小语言(languages spoken by very few people)按照市场规律自生自灭。老雅觉得,我们应该采取的态度是,推行全球通用语言,但也要适当保护那些有丰富文化内涵的小语言。

 

习作采取一边倒论证方式,即认为政府应该保护小语言,提出两个理由:一、保护语言就是保护文化;二、保护语言是对少数民族的尊重。但习作的语言(尤其是后半部分)质量比较低,错误很多,不少地方让人难以理解。同时,习作将两个理由放在同一段落的做法也不值得提倡,因为这样会使第2段过长,使整个文章结构失去平衡。

 

1

 

During the long human history, more than 5,500 kinds of languages have been born. Of those some are extensively used, such as English, Chinese and Spanish. While some only have few speakers. Then a question rises that if government need spend money in protecting these minority languages from extinction. There are people who consider it necessary, while others think it is a waste of financial resources. In my opinion, government should definitely take measures to save languages.

【修改】Of the more than 5,500 languages in use now, some are used by a huge number of people, like English and Chinese, while some others only have very few speakers. Then the question arises whether governments should spend money protecting these minority languages from extinction. Some people consider it very necessary, while others think it is a waste of financial resources. In my opinion, governments should definitely take measures to save languages.

【评析】本段开头段,引入话题后,重述题目观点,然后明确给出自己的观点。本段无论从语言还是内容都达到了7 分标准。(1)... while some only have few speakers. 这里,while 引导的只能是表示转折的从句,不能单独成句。(2)... a question rises ... 这里,rises 是误用,应该用arises。

 

2

 

Not only for communication, languages carries human culture as well. It is an important channel for discovering a nation’s history and promoting culture dissemination. Therefore, protecting languages is approximately equal to protecting culture heritage. If we indulge a language gradually fading away, a part of culture will lose its inheritance and scholars will also lose valuable research materials. It is enormous losses for all humanity. In addition to that, financial resources ought to be used for various aspects. In modern society, economic construction. However, it doesn’t mean that cultural development can be easily neglected. On the contrary, culture is what runs a long course from a remote source. Protecting languages also shows respect to those minorities friends. Everyone has responsibility to inherit human’s previous treasures as possible as we could.

修改】As is known to us all, a language is not just for daily communication, but carries a human culture as well. It is an important tool of recording a nation’s history and spreading its culture. Therefore, protecting a language is protecting its cultural heritage. If we just let a language gradually fade away without doing anything, a culture is dying with it forever and then we can never get it back however hard the scholars work. This is, no doubt an enormous loss for all humanity.

Admittedly, the government financial budget ought to be carefully planned, because it has so many things to take care of, and the top priority is always given to economic growth. But this does not mean that culture can be neglected. As a matter of fact, the more a country respects its cultural diversity, the happier and more united its people are. In this sense, protecting the minority languages is also conducive to the economic development of the country.

【评析】本段分析赞同保护语言的两个理由。老雅将本段拆分为两段,每段集中讨论一个理由。习作的主要问题是思路不清,语言表达也不准确,甚至有读不懂的地方。(1)... if we indulge a language gradually fading away... 这里的indulge是“容忍”“纵容”的意思吗?正确的应该是... if we let a language gradually fade away ...。(2)In addition to that, financial resources ought to be used for various aspects. In modern society, economic construction. 这两句与前文的逻辑联系何在?in addition to that...表示递进关系。In modern society, economic construction是典型的破碎句,缺动词谓语。

 

3

 

Generally speaking, governments should indeed spend money in saving languages of few speakers from dying out. A language is such a gem that certainly needs preservation at any cost.

【修改】To sum up, governments should indeed spend money saving those languages of few speakers from dying out because by protecting these languages, the governments are not just protecting the culture, but also promoting the national unity and harmony.A language is such a gem that certainly needs preservation at any cost.

【评析】本段是结尾,应该用具体的词汇对前面讨论的观点加以总结,习作结尾没有总结出前面讨论的两个原因。generally speaking表示“总体而言”,但这里需要一个表示总结的词汇,因此改为to sum up。